Friday, July 31, 2009

Who's gonna win the Detroit and San Jose series?

Personally i got detroit in a game 7 i think the only possible chance the sharks have is if they steal one at joe louis and clinch in game 6 but thats not gonna happen.


By the way im a wings fan and now its time for some rage 2 come out: those god dang 8 seeds either knockin us out in the first round or damaging us so severly that we crumple in ground 2 is all in the past. Thier is no way that those ******* sharks r going to beat us. And once we get done with them Hasek and Chelios are going to retire and rent a boat for the weekend together with the Stanly Cup (they will win) and feed whats left of those damn sharks to the dolphins or whatever small fish want a bite. If there is any teeth left after that we will but them or chains around our neck to show off, but no one will see them because our Stanley Cup Rings (again we will win) will be shining to brightly.


Dont get me started on the ducks.

Who's gonna win the Detroit and San Jose series?
Preds fan here, so you know I hate both, But I gotta pull for detroit game 4. Beat the crap out of the sharks. They are nothing but a bunch of actors, Watch Out though Sharks are good at diving, in the water, and on the ice.





pl
Reply:It'll be a tight matchup


Det in 6 or 7
Reply:Sharks in 7.............Maybe 6........
Reply:sharks in 6



Printing

The great flood from the bible?

There is a lot of very powerful evidence that the biblical flood did in fact occur





1) The arcic tundra. The arctic tundra is a ring of material that occurs in the northern lattitudes...alaska, siberia, northern europe, northern china, and circles the globe. In some places it is more than 600 feet thick. it is made up of approx 50% silt, clay, and other mineral deposits...the other 50% is the remains of trees, plants, animals, leaves, and other organic material.Radiocarbon testing sets the organic remains at about 19000 years old. The only conclusion to be reached is that a massive flood washed entire ecosystems from the lower lattitudes to the arctic, sweeping whole forests before it...the animal remains found in the tundra include species such as the sabre tooth tiger, extinct giant sloths, bison,


mammoths...also WHALES, SHARK, fish of every description.These animals are found whole, sheared in half, pulverized, in every condition imaginable...





2)midwest silt deposits


throughout the midwest, there is a layer of silt , called the loess, which is found at a depth of about 100 meters, in which have been found entire whale skeletons, sea turtle skeletons, shark skeletons, and other sea life which had to have been carried inland by either a gigantic tsunami or flood. These anomalies are found up to 600 miles from any seashore, and again were dated to be about 19000 years old.





3)Bone breccia caves


Throughout the world are found the so called bone caves, in which are found breccia deposits which contain bones of every description...sea life, land life, birds, all tightly packed into these caves, smashed to pieces, as though these animals gathered into these caves to escape a rising flood, and were finally pulverized by a massive wave,and entombed in silt.





4)the great salt lake


Utah's salt lake, supposedly a land-locked ocean left to evaporate, may well be the remnants of this flood, as the salt deposits surrounding the lake are not deep or extensive enough to be explained by the theory..





SOME MODERN CATSTROPHISTS theorize that the great flood was caused by the near-miss of a rogue planetoid, whos gravitational disruption caused the oceans to bulge towards the body, and when the planetoid passed by, collapse, flooding the northern hemisphere.

The great flood from the bible?
You know I read alot of these Flood/Anti-Flood theories and so far this is up there as a very good proving point. But I did want to say to those anti-flood theorist is that you forget some things when you say the flood was never a global one only local. You forget that flooding is a fact of nature even til this day. So, there may have been records of floods, and even great floods, but none would match the power and might God displayed by creating a Global Flood.





Gen 9:15And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh.


~verse 15 states that God will no more destroy all flesh with a flood. It doesnt say that floods itself would never happen again or that it never happened until that point. No it basically says that God will not destroy the all living creatures on earth by Flood at once anymore. How can not believe when even a simple hurricane like Katrina can come along and destroy a whole city? Remember Weather is alot calmer now then it was but only until recently has the weather picked up again...hmm I wonder why that is???? (Christians know this answer
Reply:I do believe I detect the odour of male bovine by-product





1) Arctic Tundra is approx 20,000 years olod because that was when the last Ice Age ended and the Tundra began to grow. Tundra doesn't grow under hundreds of feet of solid ice.





2) The Mid West silt deposits and other similar deposits over large areas of the Northern Hemisphere were deposited by glacial meltwater - again at the end of the last Ice Age.





These and the other factors you mention are indeed the product of SOME degree of flooding - sea levels would have been raised by approx 600 feet and bones of marine animals would indeed have been washed "inland" under such circumstances.





What these observations does not prove is a global flood as described in the bible:-


1) There is not enough water on the entire planet to submerge all the land


2) If all the land was submerged then all the plant life would have died. It would take much longer than 20,000 years for the plants to re-evolve into forests, jungles, etc. Even the Arctic Tundra took 20,000 years to reclaim the areas devastated by the retreating glaciers


3) If all the world was flooded then either all the freshwater fish or all the saltwater fish would have perished as most fish can only live in one type of water or the other


4) There is no way on Earth that even today we could build a ship large enough to hold all the living species alive today, even if it was only one breeding pair of each. Such a ship would have required refrigeration and heating plants, enough food for all the animals (lions eat a zebra a week - so two weeks in you'd run out of zebras, elephants eat a ton of straw a day, etc etc)


5) Genetic studies show that almost every animal you can name is descended from more than one breeding pair
Reply:Sure there is...and pigs fly.
Reply:If you can post reliable links to this data you might have a chance but no one will take what you say without proper evidence.
Reply:So, how does that explain the fauna distribution of Australia and New Zealand?





The distribution of animals throughout the world proves that a world wide flood never occurred.
Reply:i believe the flood accrued


but i am no christian, i am a proud Muslim
Reply:Sweetheart....this is theory and hypothesis...no concrete evidence....





BTW, I am a Christian.....
Reply:i appreciate your research....





go by the bible when you speak of the flood though...





YBIC
Reply:I agree with you, but prepare to be slandered and ridiculed for your belief. Many will answer only to demean you and belittle you, or simply ignore the question all together. Lastly, they may just report you.
Reply:Do you know about the Epic of Gilgamesh? It was written way prior to the bible and that book talks about a universal flood, the bible plagiarized that story from it.
Reply:ok yes the bible is right...however your number 4 reason is right in that the great salt lake has salt however if you take any body of wanter that has no outlet but is receiving minerals then the water becomes salty and that is why the great salt lake is salty not because of the flood...also dont try to convince people with facts teach them with love
Reply:"The only conclusion to be reached" is ridiculous.
Reply:Wait...I thought that according to the bible, the earth is only 6000 years old? Your 19000 year carbon dating hypothesis kind of disproves that anyway, doesn't it?
Reply:You had better be a troll.





Because, if you are not, you are doing the cause of Christianity harm by showing your propensity to naive, unquestioning belief.





And if that's what makes a good believer, than many people will be, rightly, put off.





"The only conclusion to be reached ..." my foot!
Reply:Actually, there is one main point you are missing. The ice age. The ice age was a climate change that no sensible person can deny happening, and could only have been caused by a massive rise in the surface area of the water. The evidence of a massive amount of water is right under the ice age disaster. Therefore, most animal life should have died right before the ice age, but they didn't. The only way to explain that is the ark, whether Noah be told by God, or if Noah was the Al Gore of the past.
Reply:Yes that could explain the ice age.
Reply:I believe the bible says the great flood ocurred less than 6000 years ago and you mention 19,000 years, so back to the drawing board. By the way redo your facts and put down some references.
Reply:Read the online book about the Hydroplate Theory of the flood by Dr Walt Brown...lots of good scientific evidence and info there as well...


http://www.creationscience.com/onlineboo...





The planetoid or comet theory has some problems with it ...hydroplate theory seems to be the best explanation that I've found. And radiometric dating methods are flawed by unverifiable and unobservable assumptions of the decay rates being constant.


Halos.com has info on the almost instant formation of earth's oldest rocks.
Reply:The Noah's flood story is not a literal one,but the "point of the story" is really what it's about,starting over,beginning a new


and redemption
Reply:Several things wrong with your "facts". Beside the fact that there are signs of unbroken life, including vegetation, for the last several million years, the polar ice capes are dated to at least 160,000 year ago (they should have melted during the flood) and there are no other matching signs of "globally covering silt" in the geological column matching the "tundra ring" you mentioned. In fact, there is no global layer of silt in the geological column at all. Then there is the small detail that there is not enough water to cover the earth to the depth needed (we only have 1/5 of what is needed) and there is not enough hydrogen to make the remaining water.





Remember that there was a ice age around 20,000 years ago that lasted until around 10,000 years ago, this would explain the tundra and Midwest deposits. Many lakes and various terrain features we see today were carved during that time.





In order for you "bone breccia caves" to have any relevance to a global flood you would need to show that they all are dated to the same time, otherwise they are just unrelated bones.





Not sure on the Salt Lake, but again, you would have to make a convincing case that it was formed at the same time as the nonexistent global silt layer and the bone caves.





In other words you have not built any sort of case at all, other than to string together some unrelated pieces of evidence ans forced them into fiting your hypothesis. Science works the opposite way, you examine the facts and then come to a conclusion, as more evidence is found then you re-evaluate.





Edit:


By the way, have you ever thought about rainbows? The only way that they could not have appeared before is if either there was no moisture at all in the air - ever, or that the properties of light or water changed. Not to mention that we know that the oldest religion (35000 years ago), worshiped a rain god.





Edit 2:


Consider this: in order to cover Mt Ararat or Mt Everest, the water depth on all vegetation and seeds would be crushed by the water pressure - this would be like dropping them in the deepest trench in the ocean.



performing arts

Why not genetically modify the human body?

We could gain things from other species. Have the sight of an eagle, be able to fly, have sharks resistance to cancer and endless tooth replacement and be able to survive in the desert like a camel. Now that is going to give the church the hump.

Why not genetically modify the human body?
Firstly, genetically modifying a human is *very* difficult. Scientists had just finished mapping the human genome, and there're are a lot of genes that they don't understand. Without fully understanding how each gene works, it is difficult and dangerous to alter it this drastically. Even if we can successfully incorporate the animal genes into human genes, we don't know if there is going to be any bad side effects.


Secondly, the human and animal genomes are quite different. Scientists may know which genes can make birds fly, but they won't know where to insert these genes into the human genome.


Thirdly, genetics is still an extremely touchy subject. Many people can't even accept test-tube babies. Genetically modifying the human body? Those scientists would be condemned by millions of people, won't get government fundings, get hate mails etc. Now who would want to risk something like that?
Reply:For one, human genetics are different from the genetics of most animals. For another, I think genetic engineering is wrong. Look where nature has brought us so far...I don't think we should be toying with ther traits nature has given us.
Reply:there are ethical issues to deal with...
Reply:Indeed.
Reply:Believe me, they will do it the day they can... Genetics aims at that... but technology isn't that gr8.... genes aren't always compatible
Reply:I say let God do his work.
Reply:Money, research....





Maybe your great grand son will have eagle eyes.
Reply:What, again?! Standing upright on two feet and a larger brain isn't enough for you?





Well, I'll think about it, but you only get one more and that's it. What'l it be?



mortgage rate

Out of the Mouths of Children...funny ?

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.


(Kelly age 6)














2. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)




















3. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't


have sea


all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)














4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like


Emily


Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age


6)














5. A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its


head. (Billy age














6. My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back


with crabs. (Millie age 6)














7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds


to cross the ocean.


Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors


would whistle to make the


wind come. My brother said they have been better off eating


beans. (William age 7)














8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their


shiny tails.


And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?


(Helen age 6)

Out of the Mouths of Children...funny ?
I agree, out of the mouths of babes.........


such innocence!!
Reply:Aww, that's cute...but not a question.
Reply:OMG! I can't stop laughing! Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings.
Reply:awww those are so cute, pmsl





star time





xxxxxxxxxxxx
Reply:funny*



Security

Funny or what?

KIDS WRITE ABOUT THE SEA





1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)





2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)





3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea


all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)





4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily


Richardson. She's not my friend no more. ( Kylie age 6)





5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age


8)





6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.


(Millie age 6)





7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the


ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to


make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating


beans.


(William age 7)





8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. And


how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen age 6)





9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always


screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big


sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)





10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give


you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they


have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)





11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my


willy small. (Kevin age 6)





12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't


go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)





13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going


very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her


fat ***. (Jule age 7)

Funny or what?
Funny
Reply:they are so funny


i am still laughing


thanks for shareing





;-)
Reply:Theres nothing as funny as kids.





Brilliant!
Reply:Ha ha out of the mouths of babes as they say LMAO
Reply:very good



my bird

Joke ..kids at school....writing about the sea ..........funny stuff .........?

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)





2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)





3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)





4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson . She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)





5) A dolphin breaths through an ******** on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)





6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.(Millie age 6)





7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)





8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)





9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)





10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)





11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)





12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)





13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7)

Joke ..kids at school....writing about the sea ..........funny stuff .........?
hahahahahaha ...my god they were awesome 1010 .......loved them all.....
Reply:wow...british kids these days...



hotels reviews

Don't You Just Love Kids ????

A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea.". Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences.


Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the "better ones".





1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.


(Kelly, age 6)





2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea because I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers.


(Christopher, age 7)





3. Oysters' balls are called pearls.


(James, age 6)





4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent.


(Wayne, age 7)





5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just likeEmily Richardson. She's not my friend no more.


(Kyle, age 6)





6. A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head.


(Billy, age 8)





7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.


(William, age 7)





8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant?


(Helen, age 6)


9. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy shrink.


(Kevin, age 6).

Don't You Just Love Kids ????
!!!!!! little kids mistakes... yes i luv them!
Reply:ha ha
Reply:That's cute. I really liked that one.
Reply:HAHAHAHA!!!!
Reply:i love kids but that kid of that age no because they have no sense
Reply:How cute!!
Reply:HAHAHAHA!
Reply:HA HA HA HA!!!! LMAO!
Reply:haha
Reply:hahahahahahahahaha


that's so funny.
Reply:lol, it makes sense...lol those r some good ones..



my cat

Kids write about the sea?

1) This is a picture of an octopus.


It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)





2) Oysters' balls are called pearls.


(James age 6)





3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an


Island . If you don't have sea all round


you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)





4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big


teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's


not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)





5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on


the top of its head. (Billy age 8)





6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots,


and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)





7) When ships had sails, they used to use the


trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes,


when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would


whistle to make the wind come. My brother


said they would have been better off eating


beans. (William age 7)





8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I


like their shiny tails. And how on earth do


mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?

Kids write about the sea?
#11 happens to me to Kevin.
Reply:Kevin is the little boy who said #11 Report It

Reply:I %26lt;3 #5
Reply:I %26lt;3 1 %26amp; 2
Reply:those are soo cute and some of them are really funny
Reply:That was Funny
Reply:I remember my kids having a few wonderful little stories of their own. Always makes my day reading the cute anecdotes of children. Thanks for sharing.
Reply:That was very cute. I love little kids. I can't wait to have children.





~Candice~
Reply:Thats hilarious.
Reply:BaBigurl I can help you with that



family nanny

Children writing about the sea...?

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)





2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)





3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you don't have sea


all round you, you are in continent. ( Wayne age 7)





4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily


Richardson . She's not my friend no more.


(Kylie age 6)





5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy


age 8)





6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.


(Millie age 6)





7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the


ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to


make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.


(William age 7)





8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How


do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)





9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always


screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister


has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)





10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give


you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they


have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)





11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my


willy small. (Kevin age 6)





12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't


go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)





13) On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going


very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny.


(Julie age 7)

Children writing about the sea...?
very original


i loved it


thanks


x
Reply:Out of the mouth of babes eh.


Always makes me laugh
Reply:That is sooo cute! The innocence of children, eh!! I wish I was that age again!
Reply:Aww!! Those are hilarious!!
Reply:I don't think you have quite got the grasp of this question asking thing, but very funny anyway....
Reply:Haha funny thanks for the points
Reply:awwww! if only they were true
Reply:That's hilarious! LOL! =D
Reply:These are funny, love them.





Anybody got any kids letter to Santa?





Peace.
Reply:very good,nice one.
Reply:Aww ...bless their little cotton socks :)
Reply:lol


love it



my dog

You have to love kids !!!?

Children Writing About The Sea








1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age


6)


2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)


3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have


sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)








4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily





Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)








5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy





age 8)





6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.


Millie age 6)





7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the





ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle





to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating


beans. (William age 7)





8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.


How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)








9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always


screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big





sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age





6)





10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can





give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I





think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)





11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my


willy small. (Kevin age 6)








12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers





can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8











13) On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was





going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up





her fanny. (Julie age 7)

You have to love kids !!!?
you have to smile or laugh when little kids tell you stories there so cute and funny!
Reply:ROTFLMAO
Reply:Funny, except for #9, that one was kind of depressing.
Reply:OMG!! man lil kids are toooo funny!
Reply:LMAO. I agree, #9 is depressing.
Reply:Cute...
Reply:lol that is funny! : )
Reply:how did you get all those??? there quite funny!!!
Reply:LOL, i know a kid that would make that exact comment for # 11. LOL, kids are great.
Reply:i like 5 :-)


heres more:


A first grade teacher collected some well known proverbs.


She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.


Here are their completions:


Better To Be Safe Than... Punch A 5th Grader.





Strike While The... Bug Is Close.





It's Always Darkest Before... Daylight Savings Time.





Never Under Estimate The Power Of...Termites.





You Can Lead A Horse To Water But... How?





Don't Bite The Hand That... Looks Dirty.





No News Is... Impossible.





A Miss Is As Good As A... Mr.





You Can't Teach An Old Dog New... Math.





If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll... Smell funny in the morning.





Love All, Trust.. Me





The Pen Is Mightier Than The... Pigs.





An Idle Mind Is... The Best Way To Relax.





Where There's Smoke, There's... Pollution.





A Penny Saved Is... Not Much.





Two's Company, Three's...The Musketeers.





Don't Put Off Until Tomorrow What...you put on to go to bed tonight.





Laugh And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And... You Have To Blow


Your


Nose.





None Is So Blind As...Helen Keller.





Children Should Be Seen And Not...Spanked Or Grounded.





If At First You Don't Succeed... Get New Batteries.





You Get Out Of Something What You... See Pictured On The Box.





When The Blind Leadeth The Blind...You better get out of the way.





There Is No Fool Like... Aunt Edie.
Reply:LOL. Yep. They will enlighten you. LOL.



Paper

Children's writing assignment *star if you like*?

Last week, I asked my students to write a few sentences about the ocean as a warm-up exercise for learning. The results I recieved were...interesting, to say the least. Here are the best of the bunch:





1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)





2. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)





3. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)





4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)





5. A dolphin breaths through an @ss hole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)





6. My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.(Millie age 6)





7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they have been better off eating beans. (William age 7)

Children's writing assignment *star if you like*?
xD That's golden.


Star!
Reply::)
Reply:How utterly cute. What a fantastic job you have!!!
Reply:Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City?





Those are some funny answers, are they real cos if they are, u got a bright set of students
Reply:HAHA LOL AWWW THOSE AR SO ADORABLE AND INNOCENT. I LOVE THEM AND I AM SURE EVERYONE ELSE DOES TO.





PURE GOLD, STAR FOR YOU ♥
Reply:hahahahaha
Reply:loved it babe!!



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Out of Kids Mouths!?

A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea."





Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences.





Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of


the 'better' ones.








1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)





2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can


give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea because I


think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher


age 7)





3. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)





4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't have


sea all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)





5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like


Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kyle age 6)





6. A dolphin b reathes through an asshole on the top of its head


(Billy age 8)





7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross


the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow the sailors would


whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better


off eating beans. (William age 7)





8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny


tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)





9. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my


willy shrink. (Kevin age 6)

Out of Kids Mouths!?
xWhy can't you tell at least one lousy unfunny joke like normal people,L? As sual hilarious and another for my scrapbook of your jokes.


At this rate I need to buy stock in Lexmark ink cartridges. I go through them so fast printing them out. I can always count on a hearty laugh when I see you have another good one to share.
Reply:LOL! Those are great! *star* for you!
Reply:Those kids are gross 10pts please
Reply:hahah i like 7 best for some reason lol
Reply:nice 9/10 but still pretty good!!!!!!!!11
Reply:Cute .......... hahahaha
Reply:thanx for makin my day
Reply:lol they are just lil kids they dont know any better lol star
Reply:those are cute
Reply:Sooo funny!
Reply:I hope this is not true but it was still funny
Reply:My favorite is "How do mermaids get pregnant?"





Seriously, though. How?
Reply:LOL! That was so funny!



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Young Children Writing about The Sea?

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.


(Kelly age 6)





2) Oysters' balls are called pearls.


(James age 6)





3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island


If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.


( Wayne age 7)





4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily


Richardson. She's not my friend no more.


(Kylie age 6)





5) A dolphin breathes through an a*shole on the top of its head.


(Billy age 8)





6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.


(Millie age 6)





7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the


ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle


to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating


beans.


(William age 7)





8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.


How do mermaids get pregnant?


(Helen age 6)





9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always


screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big


sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.


(Amy age 6)





10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can


give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think


they have to plug themselves into chargers.


(Christopher age 7)

Young Children Writing about The Sea?
starred,coz l love yer humour
Reply:Aaaaaah bless. Also very funny.
Reply:sea sea .lol
Reply:Really cute...lol
Reply:LOL kids say the truth LOL
Reply:Cute.. lol
Reply:so innocently true ...





call that honest, frank, from the heart, whatever ...





i like them ... wow !?!
Reply:1-6 r funny ahaha
Reply:ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Now this one is one of the best one i've read so far i actually lauged my *** out with tears:) Nice one........LOL........loved the dolphin part so much LMAO:) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Reply:i like the number 9 he didnt write somnething about tyhe instead he describes his family hehe funny
Reply:so funny. r these real stories?
Reply:lol very good


star.
Reply:lol
Reply:very good liked that
Reply:kids are soo funny sometimes,so innocent,love it hun*
Reply:ha ha ha funny


thanks for a laugh


10/10
Reply:hahaha!!





children say the darnest things!!
Reply:Children do come up with good ones. hahaha Those are cute. Thanks for sharing. Lol
Reply:very funny ones, out of the mouths of babes.



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A Funny (Not a question so don't bother) The Sea (by children)?

Willy's cynical thought for the fugging day;





When you're rich it's eccentric when ya poor it's just fawking weird!





The Sea (by children)





A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together the comments that were funny and sad. Here are some of them. The kids were all aged between 5 and 8 years:





This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)





Whales are animals, not fish If they don't get air they can drown, like my brother did last summer. (David age 7)





Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)





If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)





I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)





A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 6)





My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)





When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)





I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 7)





I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 8)





Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)





My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish (Laura age 5)





When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)





When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of sailors. (Valerie age 6)





On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her Coochie. (Julie age 7)





http://www.willyblues.com/

A Funny (Not a question so don't bother) The Sea (by children)?
lol, those were funny, when most people say lol their not really laughing out loud but i was!!!


thanks :]
Reply:Fugging long man thougt that it will b funny as usuall from u, but tis too is still funny
Reply:Can most 5 year olds write sentences?


Some of those were borderline pedophilic!


I give it a 6/10.
Reply:Good !! ?:)~
Reply:lol that was funny
Reply:My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish (Laura age 5)





that was hilarious thanks ♥
Reply:LOL. That is funny! LOL.





Have a great new week!



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Which one do you think is the funniest? :b lol?

Funny things kids say about our ocean


Children writing about the sea.....





1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.


(Kelly age 6)





2) Oysters' balls are called pearls.


(James age 6)





3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island .


If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.


( Wayne age 7)





4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily


Richardson. She's not my friend no more.


(Kylie age 6)





5) A dolphin breathes through an ******** on the top of its head.


(Billy age 8)





6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.


(Millie age 6)





7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the


ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle


to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating


beans.


(William age 7)





8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.


How do mermaids get pregnant?


(Helen age 6)





9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always


screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big


sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.


(Amy age 6)





10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can


give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think


they have to plug themselves into chargers.


(Christopher age 7)





11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my


willy small.


(Kevin age 6)





12) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was


going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up


her fanny.


(Julie age 7)





13) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers


can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.


(Becky age 8) :P

Which one do you think is the funniest? :b lol?
Which One? That's too hard! They are all so funny and cute! Kids do say the most darned things!





I'll have to choose which are the least funny, they are #'s 4 and 12. I especially like #'s 1, 3, 5, and 6



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Why dd God intelligently design saber-toothed tigers?

If all animals were going to be vegetarians forever, why did God intelligently design saber-toothed tigers?





(Same goes for great white sharks.)

Why dd God intelligently design saber-toothed tigers?
And not so intelligent either, they are extinct.
Reply:Odd question.


It is not the 'having' that matters.


What matters is how its used.


You have a knife.


Are you automatically a terrible person?


You could be using it for beneficial purposes.


No?
Reply:huh
Reply:your premise of eternal vegetarianism is questionable. But assuming arguendo it is true, I suppose these teeth could be useful in digging up succulent tubers for ingestion by vegetarian tigers. Great white sharks need sharp teeth to tear off hunks of tought seaweed. so there


later they were forced to resort to meat because of the original sin of that darn eve.
Reply:If you are speaking to the myths or legends of a particular religion, I would have to know which religion in order to answer. If you are talking about the Christian religion, I really can't recall reading or being told that all animals were going to be vegetarians.





As to intelligent design, it has been debunked several times and is not necessary to scientific study.
Reply:God does not create absurdities . nothing in this world has been designed by God . It is nature that has designed everything . it is environment that has designed everything .If the tiger did not have any sharp teeth , it can not tear the flesh of its kill. Initially every animal has been meat eaters only . animals have Been eating only mobile things . If some carnivore sees some animal stationery , it does not pounce on it immediately. It waits to see if that is something that is alive and edible . Anything that moves and shifts position is edible for them. Man was also a carnivore first , an omnivore next and then a herbivore later . all animals won't turn to be herbivores a any time .
Reply:All animals were never intended to be vegetarians. I don't know where you got that load of bunk but it wasn't the Bible.





Sabre Tooth Tigers had big teeth so they could eat Sabre Tooth Rats. That's about as intelligent an answer as this question deserves.
Reply:God created many species who are now extinct.





God created the human race and all human souls, and the great majority of them will spend eternity in the torment of Hell.





(Only the ones that believe in Jesus will endure, and even most of them won't unless they proclaim their belief louder and with greater emotion; and they must tell Jesus they think he's the greatest. If Jesus says "Louder; I can't hear you!" they better do it.)





As for meat-eating animals, God created them originally to eat vegertarian animals that had died, as a way to dispose of their bodies. But then meat-eating animals started eating the living as well, and God said "Oh hell."





By then he was preoccupied with his anger at the human race, which had fallen into debauchery and every kind of perversion imaginable.
Reply:Okay now, just take some slow deep breaths....that's right, inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.....slowly.......slowly.............. it.....close your eyes......okay, feeling better already now.............
Reply:Animals and their appetites as we knew or know them today will be changed so killing is no longer a part of their instincts.



bsd apache

Stupidly interesting deep thoughts?

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.





Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.





Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.





Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind." Basically, it's made up of two separate words-"mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.





I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.





It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.





I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob."





I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"





The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.





Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.





I'd rather be rich than stupid.





If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."





If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then, yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.





I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.





When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.





To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.





What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.





We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.





Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me, then he kicked me, then he punched me again.





Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.





I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.





To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.





As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable -- until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!!





Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.





I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF!





If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.





Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.





You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.





Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.





If you see an animal and you can't tell if it's a skunk or a cat, here's a good saying to help: "Black-and-white, stinks all right. Tabby-colored, likes a fella."





If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.





If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.





If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.





I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.





Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?





Isn't it funny how we'll look out the window at the moon, and then we notice it's not the moon but a streetlight? Also what's funny is how we do this every night.





It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at Marineland says, "You can't throw that chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish." Sure they eat fish, if that's all you give them! Man, wise up.





He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven -- with a gun."





The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car -- I forget what kind it was -- and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess somethings never leave you.





If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."





Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.





As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Martha said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke -- just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!





One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-outwarehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.





If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.





Laurie got offended because I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.





We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with a whore he picked up in town.





I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.





As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.





If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.





Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.





If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.





I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best. We called him Uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear.





I think people tend to forget that trees are living creatures. They're sort of like dogs. Huge, quiet, motionless dogs, with bark instead of fur.





If God dwells inside of us like some people say, then I sure hope he likes enchiladas, because that's what he's getting.





Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should call them impressions. And if you have a different impression, so what? Can't we all be brothers?





I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula and Superman away.





It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was running to go fight in another fight, away from the first fight.





In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should disqualify you.





If you ever discover that what you're seeing is a play within a play, just slow down, take a deep breath, and hold on for the ride of your life.





Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.





It's too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.





I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.





I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king because I like people to do what I say.





Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a "shell" if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags.





A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it.





If you're ever stuck in some thick undergrowth in your underwear, don't stop and start thinking of what other words have "under" in them, because that's probably the first sign of jungle madness.





I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn't eat so much.





If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised.





I think a good movie would be about a brain surgeon who gets hit on the head and damages the part of the brain that makes you want to study the brain.





Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "What's for supper?"





I think that if you were an Indian and you shot an arrow into the back of a fat pioneer woman so she falls screaming to the ground while she shoots her shotgun into the ground, it would be about the top thing you could do.





I bet that if you were an ant walking across the top of a bowl of pudding, you'd have no idea that the only thing that lies between you and certain disaster is the strength of that pudding skin.





I think that if someone sent you something that someone else sent them, and then if you sent it on to some other people you knew, it would be kind of like the first person had sent it to everyone else, except that, if the first person didn't know everyone else, he might think that he had gone crazy for sending it to all these people he had never even heard of.





I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.





If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.





I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.





You know one thing that will really make a woman mad? Just run up and kick her in the butt. (P.S. This also works with men.)

Stupidly interesting deep thoughts?
I'm sorry but this was way to long to read.


so i didnt.
Reply:nice.


i practically read all of them.


made me smile. thanks
Reply:Ha ha ha


Its a bit long, but I like it ^-^
Reply:Long but entertaining.
Reply:okay.



Toys

Analogies 10 easy points?

Let's see if you get these for fun!


These 2 words are related by:


1.strong-harness


a. description, object


b. object , location


c. class, example


d. same class





Analogies:


2.fish:shark::number:


a. 70


b. amount


c. increase


d. name


3.clover:field::pine:


a. forest


b. house


c. dine


d. tree


4. Dungeon:prisoner::tank:


a. car


b. wheel


c. battle


d.fuel





5.teacher:book::farmer:


a. plow


b. market


c. corn


d. hay





6. armor:protect::telephone:


a. deal


b. call


c. cord


d. coin





7. fan:cool::furnace:


a. coal


b. cellar


c. winter


d. heat





8. soldier:gun:dentist:


a. teeth


b. pain


c. drill


d. gum





9. cork:float::chalk:


a.white


b.write


c.board


d.hill





10. saw:carpenter::camera:


a. picture


b.film


c.photographer


d. snap





11. spell: alphabet::sew:


a. mend


b. so


c. letter


d. needle





12. Bulb:light::brake:


a.steak


b.wheel


c.break


d.stop





13. mitt: catcher::whistle:


a.coach


b.blow


c.shrill


d.team





14. artist:paint::poet:


a. trees


b. story


c. words


d. magician

Analogies 10 easy points?
whats so fun about that?
Reply:a


d


c


a


b


a


c


d


b


a


a


d


c


d


a


b


a
Reply:You need a hobby mate!
Reply:1) description, object


2) a/70


3) a/forest


4) c/battle


5) a/plow


6) b/call


7) d/heat


8) c/drill


9) b/write


10) c/photographer


11) d/needle


12) d/stop


13) a/coach


14) c/words


15) b/rocket


16) d/read


17) c/scale


18) a/explorer
Reply:1.strong-harness


c. class, example





Analogies:


2.fish:shark::number:


c. increase





3.clover:field::pine:


a. forest





4. Dungeon:prisoner::tank:


d.fuel





5.teacher:book::farmer:


a. plow





6. armor:protect::telephone:


b. call





7. fan:cool::furnace:


d. heat





8. soldier:gun:dentist:


c. drill





9. cork:float::chalk:


b.write





10. saw:carpenter::camera:


c.photographer





11. spell: alphabet::sew:


d. needle





12. Bulb:light::brake:


d.stop





13. mitt: catcher::whistle:


a.coach





14. artist:paint::poet:


c. words





15. pilot:airplane::astronaut:


b.rocket





16. fork:eat::magazine:


d.read





17. cut: scissors::Weigh:


c. scale





18. saddle: rider::compass


a. explorer
Reply:1.strong-harness


a. description, object♥


b. object , location


c. class, example


d. same class





2.fish:shark::number:


a. 70♥


b. amount


c. increase


d. name





3.clover:field::pine:


a. forest


b. house


c. dine


d. tree♥





4. Dungeon:prisoner::tank:


a. car


b. wheel


c. battle


d.fuel♥





5.teacher:book::farmer:


a. plow


b. market


c. corn


d. hay♥





6. armor:protect::telephone:


a. deal


b. call♥


c. cord


d. coin





7. fan:cool::furnace:


a. coal


b. cellar♥


c. winter


d. heat





8. soldier:gun:dentist:


a. teeth


b. pain


c. drill♥


d. gum





9. cork:float::chalk:


a.white


b.write


c.board♥


d.hill





10. saw:carpenter::camera:


a. picture♥


b.film


c.photographer


d. snap





11. spell: alphabet::sew:


a. mend


b. so


c. letter


d. needle♥





12. Bulb:light::brake:


a.steak


b.wheel♥


c.break


d.stop





13. mitt: catcher::whistle:


a.coach


b.blow


c.shrill♥


d.team





14. artist:paint::poet:


a. trees


b. story♥


c. words


d. magician





15. pilot:airplane::astronaut:


a. fly


b.rocket♥


c.train


d.crew





16. fork:eat::magazine:


a.story


b.think


c.picture


d.read♥





17. cut: scissors::Weigh:


a.ruler


b. inch


c. scale♥


d. truck





18. saddle: rider::compass


a. explorer


b.direction♥


c.assistant


d.villager



credit report

Howz about these Aussies Jokes/ slang?

Drovers











Two Aussie cattle drovers standing in an Outback bar.





One asked, "What are you up to, Mate?"





The other one replied, "Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie."





"Oh yeah ... and what route are you takin'?"





"Ah, probably the Missus; after all, she stuck by me durin' the drought."











New Widow





Three guys were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Bluey. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."





Bluey says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."





Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Foster's.





Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Bluey?"





"Steve's wife gave it to me," Bluey replies.





"That's unbelievable! You told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"





"Well not exactly," Bluey says. "When she answered the door, I said to her,'You must be Steve's widow'. She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.' And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Foster's you are'."

















Aussie Slang











I'm hungry:





"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."


"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."


"So hungry I'd eat a **** sandwich, only I don't like bread."


"I could eat the **** out of a rag doll through a cane chair."


"So hungry I could eat the **** out of a low flying duck."





I'm thirsty:





"I'm dry as a dead dingo's donger."


"I'm drier than a nuns nasty."


"I'm dry as a f**k with no foreplay."


"I'm as dry as a pommie's bath mat."


"I'm as dry as a bulls bum going up a hill backwards."


"I'm drier than an Arab's fart."





I need to go for a pee:





"Gonna drain me dragon."


"My back teeth are floating."


"Need to syphon the python."


"Takin' the kids to the pool."


"I got to take a snakes hiss."


"Gotta go have a slash."


"Gonna go water a horse."


"I'm off to drain the main vein."


"Time to splatter the bladder."


"I'm dying for a piss ! so bad I can taste it."


"Shake hands with the wife's best friend."





I need to do a poo:





"I gotta go give birth to a Kiwi."


"I'm takin' a stroll to the gravy bowl."


"It was like giving birth to Kim Beasly."


"Off to the bog to leave an offering."


"Time to snap off a grogan."


"Have to hang a brown bear in the porcelain cave."


"I'm gonna strangle a brownie."


"There's a brown dog barking at the back door."


"I'm going to give birth to your twin."


"Need to choke a brown dog."


"I've freed Nelson Mandela."


"Going for a Rodney."


"Taking out the garbage."


"I gotta back one out."


"Release the Chocolate hostage"


"i gotta lay some cables for telstra"





Vomit:





"Calling for George."


"I was driving the porcelain bus this morning."


"I left him a lawn pizza."


"Toss a tiger on the carpet."


"Gotta go Ralph"





Insults:





"I hope your ears turn into arseholes and **** on your shoulders."


"Not enough brains to giv! e 'imself a headache!"


"About as useful as **** on a bull."


"You must be the world's only living brain donor."


"He's a few wanks short of an orgasm."


"She had more pricks than a second hand dartboard."


"He had a head on him like a sucked mango."


"May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down."


"He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock."


"So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him 'til the bell rang!"


"Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery."


"Pull your lip over your head and swallow!"


"As ugly as a hat full of arseholes."


"If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's **** and make it walk backwards."


"Got a face like a bashed in **** can."


"Couldn't tell his *** from a hole in the ground."


"Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's ****."


"Couldn't organise a f**k in a brothel with a fist full of fifties."


"About as useful as a one-legged man in an ****-kicking competition."


"I'll kick your! bum till your nose bleeds!"


"A stubbie short of a six pack."


"Seen better heads in a piss trough."


"You're as handy as **** on a stick."


"Tighter than a fish's ****."


"So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him."


"Face like a smashed crab."


"As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp."


"He could talk a dog off a meatwagon."


"F**ked in the head."


"You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie."


"He wouldn't go two rounds with a revolving door."


"Mate, she's as rough as a pigs breakfast."


"Your face is like a twisted ugg boot."


"He's got a face like a cat licking **** off a thistle."


"She's been hit with the ugly stick too many times."


"She's two pick handles wide."


"An **** like two pigs fighting in a sugar bag."


"As ugly as a bag of spanners."


"You've got a head like a dropped pie."


"He thinks his **** don't stink, but his farts give him away."


"I wish his dad had settled for a ********."


"Fell out of the ugly ! tree, and hit every branch on the way down."


"Your the load your mother should have swallowed"


"If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it."


"Wouldn't know if someone was up him sideways with an armful of deck chairs."


"As thick as two short planks!"


"you got a head like a busted watermelon"





Compliments:





"Ya bloods worth bottling!"


"He's True Blue."

Howz about these Aussies Jokes/ slang?
Lol, some hilarious ones, but you missed my favorite.





An English pilot is traveling over Australia when he hits an unexpected storm and his plane crashes. The next day he wakes up in a bush hospital feeling terrible. He fears he may not be going to survive so he asks the nearby doctor, "Did you bring me here to die?"


To which the doctor answers, "Nah mate, we brought you in yesterday."
Reply:nice! funny and nice to know.



Luggage

A billionaire holds a party at his mansion.....................?

On arriving, guests are shocked to see a great white shark in his huge swimming pool. One of the guest asks why it's in there. He replies "Tonight is a special night for one lucky person, if anyone here can swim one length of the pool and survive, I will give them anything within my power." The guests are sure no one would be so stupid and the party continues. After about 2 hours there is a loud splash and a man in a suit is swimming like crazy to the other side of the pool. He actually makes it and everyone applauds him. As promised, the Billionaire asks him, "What would you like, I will give you anything in my power." The man, standing dripping in his suit, replies with clenched teeth, "I want the fuc*er who pushed me in."

A billionaire holds a party at his mansion.....................?
Excellent ha ha ha ,,,,
Reply:LOL !
Reply:MWAH HA HA HA!!! Pure genius! Here's a star... *pinkie in mouth*
Reply:ahahah! brilliant! heh heh
Reply:Boom, wheres my check for a million?
Reply:Ha ha great one :)
Reply:Lol. Why not ask for all his money and then pay a hit man?
Reply:Bonjour





too funny





aurevoir
Reply:PMSL! 10/10
Reply:the old ones are the best
Reply:HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!!!


omg!!!!!
Reply:That's great!! Has me still laughing:)
Reply:hahahahaahhha............





still laughing.......

















still laughing




















still laughing











that was a funny joke!
Reply:hhahhahahhahahhhahhhaaaaaaaa
Reply:Hilarious as usual, Mr. Mungbean! I do believe I would have at least asked the billionaire for a cool million before I asked for the fuc*er who pushed me in though. Ta Ta
Reply:lol very funny, 10/10 you can have a star!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:Hilarious. That was a good one.
Reply:LOL LMAO
Reply:Tooo Funnie!!!





LOL!!!





:)
Reply:hahahaha!! nice one lol
Reply:lol
Reply:Mr. Boombast, I have never been to a billionaire's party before. Would it be okay if I came to your next party, Mr. Boombast? If they


are all this good, I must be missing out on an awful lot of funsies!


It's really too bad that the man that got pushed in was wearing his good suit. If he had been naked, he might not have gotten so mad!


hehe! Those kinds of parties can be fun, but I am a little afraid of that shark in the pool! I tend to agree with Mr. Fu**ker's words!


^.^ O_O :-)





LOL. Thanks for sharing a good joke! ;)



skin cancer

Are you chasing nickels and dimes?

I'm a Cadillac tramp at the end of his road


a swap meet rat who's sitting on gold, yeah baby


I'm a guitar gangster without a tune


I'm the baseball bat that's waiting to swing


Your loan shark friend with the broken knees, yeah baby


I'm a penthouse pauper with nothing to do





Na na na na na na, I'm chasing nickles and dimes


The rest of the world passes me by


Na na na na na na, Im just wasting my time


I'm just sitting here and wondering why





I'm the high rolling creep that's in too deep


with the slicked back hair and the silver teeth, yeah baby


I'm a vagabond king with a stolen crown


I'm a jailhouse poet, a genius, a fool


I'm the pimp who lost his cool, yeah baby


I've got first class taste in a second class town





I'm a loaded gun pointed at the mirror


A drugstore cowboy whose end is near, yeah baby


I'm a big time schemer with broken down dreams


I'm a derelict rebel without a cause


I ain't the cat with the sharpest claws


Cause sometimes life just aint what it seems

Are you chasing nickels and dimes?
Yeah!!!





and I'm reaching for the sky!





When I was young I was invincible


I found myself not thinking twice


I never thought about no future


It's just a roll of the dice





But the day may come when you got something to lose


And just when you think you're done paying dues


You say to yourself "Dear, God What have I Done?"


And hope its not too late cause tomorrow may never come





Reach for the sky cause tomorrow may never come


Reach for the sky cause tomorrow may never come





Yesterday is history


And tomorrow is a mystery


But baby right now,


It's just about you and me





You can run you can hide


Just like Bonnie and Clyde


Reach for the sky


ain't never gonna die


And I thank the Lord for the love that I have found


And hold you tight cause tomorrow may never come





Reach for the sky cause tomorrow may never come


Reach for the sky cause tomorrow may never come





So if you please take this moment


Try if you can to make it last


Don't think about no future


And just forget about the past


And make it last





Reach for the sky cause tomorrow may never come


(reach for the sky I ain't never going down)


Reach for the sky cause tomorrow may never come


(reach for the sky I ain't never coming down)


Reach for the sky cause tomorrow may never come


(reach for the sky I ain't never going down)


Reach for the sky cause tomorrow may never come








ROCK ON : )
Reply:lyrics, huh...





I'm chasin Benjamins and Bettys
Reply:social distortion is faggoty.



viruses

What would you rather do:: ??!?!?

1. jump out of an airplane with no parachute


2. be in the same cage with a hungry bear


3. be in the same cage with a hungry lion


4. swim in shark infested waters


5. get lost in the middle of the desert with no food\water


6. have your spaceship run out of gas in outer space


7. get all of your teeth pulled out


8. have no contact with another person for the rest of your life


9. be in a coma for the next 20 years of your life


10. get struck by lighting 10 times in your life





??????????????????????????????????????...

What would you rather do:: ??!?!?
OMG!!!! 10, 10, i pick #10! I've always wanted to be struck by lightning! Call me crazy, but it's true! And being struck by lightning 10 times would make it 10 times better! Woo-Hoo!
Reply:#8
Reply:10. get struck by lighting 10 times in your life
Reply:lighting.
Reply:easy 8
Reply:um i think everyone's going to pick number 8
Reply:9 cause people i wouldnt miss any thing
Reply:#8 sounds the least painful although I do like lions.
Reply:I guess...I'd have to go with #10...since at least you are surviving through all of the lightening strikes...Probably wouldnt survive many of the others...
Reply:I'll go with #1......assuming that the plane hasn't taken off yet!
Reply:8. It is the least dangerous!
Reply:8...I'd pick a random bum on the street...easy...
Reply:Well, none but if I HAVE to pick, I would pick Have my spaceship run out of gas.
Reply:#10 ..it lasts shorter.but we all no that not gunna happen..


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *ELECTRIFIED*
Reply:lightning, i've always wanted to feel it. xD
Reply:I've swam with sharks--they were bigger than me. I got to rub them and play around. They werent as enthusiastic as I was about it. Nurse sharks wont eat you, but you didnt specify.......
Reply:geeze it's a toss-up between #4 and #7
Reply:I choose #8.
Reply:8, then 7, then, finally, #1!!!





(When You're ALREADY DEAD like I am, WGAF???)
Reply:have no contact with another person for the rest of my life
Reply:Be in the same cage with a hungry lion.
Reply:7. get all of your teeth pulled out


because i can get synthetic ones.
Reply:right at this point in time, id have to go for 7. its gonna happen soon enough, anyway. if i knew i was gonna die in the next couple of days anyway, i think id pick 1.... or 6, probably 6. definately not 4, cause i cant swim.
Reply:7, I'd just get false teeth.
Reply:i'll take number 8 please. :]
Reply:# 7 - Get all my teeth pulled out. Then I could get dentures and have a nice smile. My Mother-in-Law got all her teeth pulled at one time when she got her dentures years ago. If she can take it, so can I.
Reply:9. be in a coma for the next 20 years of your life








8-)
Reply:i guess #8



company

WHat is the THEME of this POEM???HELP?

PLEASe can you please help me finding the THEME of this poem:





The Shark





He seemed to know the harbour,


So leisurely he swam;


His fin,


Like a piece of sheet-iron,


Three-cornered,


And with knife-edge,


Stirred not a bubble


As it moved


With its base-line on the water.





His body was tubular


And tapered


And smoke-blue,


And as he passed the wharf


He turned,


And snapped at a flat-fish


That was dead and floating.


And I saw the flash of a white throat,


And a double row of white teeth,


And eyes of metallic grey,


Hard and narrow and slit.





Then out of the harbour,


With that three-cornered fin


Shearing without a bubble the water


Lithely,


Leisurely,


He swam --


That strange fish,


Tubular, tapered, smoke-blue,


Part vulture, part wolf,


Part neither -- for his blood was cold.

WHat is the THEME of this POEM???HELP?
the topic of the poem is a shark, the theme could be 'life', as in the life of the shark
Reply:um, i might be being really thick here, but isn't the theme a shark?



auto financing