Story? My little cuz wrote it and wants to know if its good so far.?

Well here I am leaving Bugsday Animal Retreat.My name is Lola and I am the Moor's family dog. I am a loyal bordercollie,that loves playig fetch...It's my favorite!


But this week the family was taking a vacation to aunt Marthas house and I didn't want to go.I dont know aunt Martha by any experiance but Lilly and Sams (Which are the kids) groaning told me I didn't want to go. "But Mom aunt Martha is way to crazy!" sam said. "Yeah", said Lilly "Last time we visited her she made me wash my soap.My soap!" "Dont argue just go pack your bags,your aunt moved into a new beach-house and she caled just a few hours ago and asked if we wanted to vist and you farther told her yes, so if there's anyone to yell at its him." The kids groaning started again and Lilly sat down beside me. "At least Lola gets to go." Lilly said as I Iooked at her strange. "Actually",said Mom, "Your aunt is allergic to dogs." "'So?" Lilly replied sarcasticly. "So Lola cant go." Mom said. "Then we must stay home! Mom, I dont think this plan was well thought out!" Lilly said as she picked me up and took me to her room.


I tried to fall asleep on Lilly's soft,pink fuzzy blanket but every time I did Lilly would start talking to Sam on some walkie takies. I wanted to grab them away from her and eat them so I could finally get some rest.But I decided to wait for about 2 minutes."I dont know we cant just leave Lola here." I over heard Mom say. "Shes just 5 months and still a puppy." While I was lying on Lilly's bed as she packed to go to her aunts house I could'nt help but think about the following: Is Aunt Martha nice? Will she take care of the family? By going to aunt Marthas,is the kids in danger? At that thought I jumped of the bed to see if I could sucker Mom and Dad to let me go. "Lola! Does Lola want her bone?Come get it!" What the heck? I can sucker Mom ad Dad later,because its bone time! I jumped back on Lilly's bed and began to eat. Im going to have to find a hidding place for this! I thought. Its huge! I ate about half of the bone and fell asleep I dreamed about aunt Martha beating the children, chasing mom and dad with her purse abusing my family like a,like a, like an old preson! I awoke at the smell of cookies. "Lola!" yelled Mom. I looked around and Lilly wasn't there, I decided I must go investigate.I jumped off the bed and ran to the kitchen,there I found Sam,Lilly,Mom,and Dad.They were sitting at the table eating Lasagna and the cookies were on the cabnit,I sat there watching the family eat.I gave Mom the "Puppy dog pout" and she got up and poured a little lasagna into my bowl.I ate the Lasagna and curled up on the kitchen rug then realized it was much more comftorable upstairs in Lilly's bed. My journey began as I walked through the dining room and walked to the north wall of the liing room.It was my first time climbing these stairs because everyone would carry me up them.As I climbed up the stairs the family was awed. I kept climbing then before I knew it Lilly was right behind me then Sam, then everyone. I was going to complete my journy so I climbed up faster. Finally! I was finished,with the family following me,I ran as fast as could to Lilly's room and everybody was watching me so I decided to run around in circles.Lilly was trying to capture me then Sam joined in,and Mom and Dad were laughing,but unfortunatly the door bell rang and we were forced to go downstairs.I ran down the stairs really fast,too fast actually and fell down the stairs but I picked myself up and tried it again slower. Mom and Dad beat me to the door."Here's a flier about our new doggy-day-care. Only 25$ a day its a steal. Would like further information? I have 3 packages full of info for 3 people who want it.""Yes!" Dad said. "Okay here,well bye."said the dwliveryguy Wow that expressionless voice is depressing, and suspicious. Note to self:Watch out for delivery guys,escpessially expressionless ones. "Wow how lucky are we? Now we can go to aunt Marthas and we know were Lola can go now!" "Wait!" We have to do research on that place.We know nothing about that place. And I don't know about you but i'm not sending Lola to a little doggy-day-care without knowing anything about that place." said Mom. Lilly grabbed me up in her arms. "Why dont Sam and I stay home and watch Lola? Im 13 and a 1/2 I think I can.And Sams 12." I barked once and Mom busted out laughing.Lilly spuealled.I barked.They laughed.Lilly took me upstairs and sat me on her bed.I chewed on that bone. "If only Mom would stay,it is Dads aunt" I thought.Lilly unpacked:a razor,makeup clothes,curling iron,flat iron,toothpaste,tooth brush,hair brush,makeup,and a picture of me.She put everything back in its destinated place. "Lilly,Sam,Lola, get down here!"I got carried down stairs.A bowl of leftover Lasagna was waiting for me.A plate of cookies was waiting for Lilly and Sam.I got done eating and went outside.Lilly came outside and picked me up and put me in the car.We drove down to PetsRus pet supplies store.We went inside and Lilly took me in the dog section.She put in a cart:four toys,three bags of treats,a bag of vitamins,two bones,a collar,a leash,a bed,and two bowles.


On our way home I slept in my new bed.It was big and round and looked like a bean bag but it wasn't full of beans it was squishy,and pink. It was also comfortable!


I was woken up by the sound of the garage door."Grab Lola and have Sam come help me with supplies." She took me in the backyard and yelled at Sam.


"Sam! Go help Mom with Lola's supplies!now! I liked being outside until it started raining. It was raining thirty minutes before someone finally realized it and let me in.Then Sm gave me a half bath then Lilly came in and said "Sam your not doing it right!Go play video games your better at that then taking care of Lola!" Which is true,im a girl I don't like axe body wash. Lilly gave me real bath one with strawberry shampoo and conditioner.With my pink robe I was ready for bed. I heard the phone ring but was too tired to care.Lilly took me in my room and put put on me my pink pajamas with blue bears on it,she put me in my bed and I was just about to be dosed off when.."Lilly,Sam get down here! I didnt here my name but i decided to follow I got out of my warm,comfy bed and stumbled down the stairs. "What Mom?" Lilly sked.as she wlked down the stairs. "We're not going to your aunts house tomorrow." Dad said. "You dragged us out of bed to tell us that?" Sam said, sitting down on the couch. "Ummm,not exactly. Change of plans. Were going toa funeral." said Dad trying not cry. "Whos?" Mom asked as she walked into the room. "Guys its Martha." said dad "your Aunt Martha passed away just five minutes ago." "Oh,but she lived a long happy life and at lest she didnt die painfully." said Mom trying to make dad feel better. "She was 41 and got eaten by a shark." ''Oh,'' mom said. Man, do I hate sharks they are so mean. "But what about Lola?Can she go?We can dress her up in black,Lolas smart she can sit there and cry." Lilly said squeezing me. "No,Lola can go to bugsday retreat." dad said. What!?! Dad's joking right?He has to be joking! So I started whining,maybe they will feel sorry for me and take me someplace else,anyware! Lilly and Sam walked slowly up the stairs and I decided to follow so I can go to sleep. I don't know why but that night I felt like somebody was in the house,somebody that souldn't be in the house.Knowing my great instinct,at random times I would wake up,and walk around the house for a few times until I was sure it was safe.I knew Lilly needed my protection so I jumped on her bed and curled up beside her with one eye open one eye closed.


"Lilly,Sam breakfeast!" yelled dad.From my overnight guarding,I have woked mysef up quite an apptite,so I too ran downstairs for breakfeast. Downstairs was lady,a nice looking lady but a stranger."Good morning Lola!" said the odd lady.Ihave no idea why but theres something about her that give me the chills.She was sitting at the table enjoying french toast.I went to my food bowl and ate my food,without taking one eye off the strange lady. Mom poured me some dog food in my bowl a i began to eat.


It was really good,and l was really hungry.The only problem is,l couldnt enjoy knowing that there was a stranger in the house.I do not like stragers in the house,actually I hate them and l for one will not stand for it.No siree I will not have it!

Story? My little cuz wrote it and wants to know if its good so far.?
not sure because i didn't read it
Reply:too long


but your cuz can write long stories.
Reply:Skimmed through it.





Boring.


Too many grammatical errors and poor sentence structure.


I guess it's ok if your cousin is five or something.
Reply:long story too many grammar mistakes,check the spelling,but its a good story though.



visual arts