I love this, read it years ago, just found it on net, what you think. its long?

The following is an article reprinted from the Sydney Morning Herald, entitled "50 things you would never know if it weren't for the screen".





If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.








If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's day parade - at any time of the year.








All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to the armpit level on the woman but only to the waist of the man lying beside her.








All grocery bags contain at least one French stick.








It's easy for anyone to land a plane, provided there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.








Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.








The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No-one will think of looking there, and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.








You're likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone your sweetheart back home.








Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.








The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in any building in Paris.








People on TV never finish their drinks.








A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.








The chief of police is always black.








When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.








If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your hand to grow by 6 inches.








Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.








During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.








Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon, and waffles for their family, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.








Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.








Wearing a singlet or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.








A single match can light up a room the size of a football stadium.








If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.








Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.








Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of visual range, people in the 23rd century will have lost this technology.








All single women have a cat.








Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.








Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.








One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.








Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.








If a phone line is a broken, communication can be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying, "Hello? Hello?"








Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their friends or family have died in a strange boating accident.








It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.








During a very emotional confrontation, instead of looking at the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.








When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.








Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.








Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.








When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.








Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.








No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.








If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.








You can always find a chainsaw whenever you are likely to need one.








Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.








Having a job of any kind will make fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.








Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions - can be played without moving the fingers.








All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.








It is always possible to park directly in front of the building you are visiting.








Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, throw it away. You can always buy a new one.








Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging.








A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.








If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump in to will know all the steps.

I love this, read it years ago, just found it on net, what you think. its long?
That was great! Loved it!





May I add the following.





When you have just recieved some 'interesting' news on the telephone you must stare at the phone reciever before replacing it.





You need never apply make up because the make up fairy will come just before you wake and make sure you look immaculate.





When being chased you should always go upstairs so you end up on the roof and have no visable way of escaping.





Megalomaniacs should always give their arch-enemies full details of their plot to take over the world while they have them in captivity and then leave them alone for however long it takes for them to escape and foil said plan.





If you are a cop trying to save an individual it is quite justifiable to sacrafice 300 innocent people just to save that one.





Sorry these are my little additional observations from movie/tv world.





Thanks again for that I really enjoyed it.
Reply:very good!we have ben watching the same movies and same web sites.you cataloged them well. Report It

Reply:Thanks, that was so much fun! :D Report It

Reply:I remember these, and ultimately try to live my life by them - as we know - life is just one big movie dahling!
Reply:nice
Reply:You were not kidding about it being long corrrrr





But funny anyway thanks x
Reply:the ones i read were funny!!
Reply:Quite a read but nice.
Reply:long winded but i do like these. Another one is that if a woman is running from a killer she will always run upstairs.
Reply:Very good... lol...
Reply:very long - but very worth it!!! And sooooo true!! I have always said that about makeup - i put mine on in the morning, and by llunchtime its half off!!!! Oh to live in the movies!
Reply:I've seen all of these at some point or other, sometimes more than once. They are indeed classics.
Reply:I read every word of that. It is brilliant!


It just shows how unbelievably different and "convenient" films are to real life.


I love it!


One thing to add to the list, which is a little similar to the penultimate point, is that ordinary, law-abiding citizens will always solve a murder before and interrogate suspects better than the most established police forces, just like that b*tch from "Murder, She Wrote". She, I hate!
Reply:they are all so true



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